Great friendships do not just happen.
You have to be intentional about the people you surround yourself with.
You have to be intentional about getting to know someone.
You have to be intentional about making time for that person.
As friendships grow and evolve..
You have to be intentional about investing in that relationships.
You have to be intentional about making that person part of your new schedule, life stage, etc.
You have to be intentional to have conflict resolution.
You have to be intentional to have fun and make memories.
Friendilemma
There are a lot of people in this world that do not know how to be great friends. I have seen so many friendships fall apart because the person was a great friend to a person and that person did not know how to be a great friend in return. It is so sad, because there are so many reasons someone would have never learned how to be a great friend.
Personal Experience
This is the long version, skip to next headline for short version.
At age 17, I had not had a best friend, someone who was my go-to. There were a plethora of reasons for this. One major one was that I struggled with a fear of rejection. During a summer camp that year I had an experience with God that healed me of lots of hurt in that area and completely changed me. I went on to join a life changing ministry school that same year.
During that experience, my youth pastors Caitlin & Cole Zick(love them) helped me to realize that I was looking for my identity in trying to fit in all the wrong places. I think we can so easily fall into that. That experience completely wiped my slate clean. I felt like I started college at Thrive School with a completely blank canvas. Thrive took that blank canvas and built into me an unshakable foundation. Part of that foundation was FRIENDSHIP.
My first day of Thrive we were all given 2 hours in a room to pray separately about what we were believing for in the next year. The list I wrote was long and the list of answered prayers at the end of that year, were very long.
One of those answered prayers was a strong group of best friends who love Jesus.
Being in Church taught me how to love well, it taught me how to be a good friend and now I have friends that are like sisters. In that time I had some amazing people teach me how to be a good friend just by how they loved me.
Keeping Friendships
All relationships go through various seasons. The cycle is honeymoon, despair and deeper. If you are willing to push through the hard times in a relationship you will have a friend for a long time. God gives us very clear instruction and help on how to be a good friend to someone. We are messy and people are messy and this can help us love messy people well in our messy states.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
If you have a friend who isn't being a great friend. Use these verse to practice grace and show them love. As you love them well they may learn how to be a better friend themselves!
Creatives Ways to be Intentional
Is your friend too busy for their own good? Offer a fun date!
Is your friend having hard time? Txt them a short encouragement each day!
Is your friend struggling at work? Give them a call after work and let them vent!
Is your friend overloaded and stressed? Offer to pick up some groceries for them and they can always cash app you!
Are you both too busy? Well you both need to clean your house so facetime and chat while you clean!
Is your friend far away? Send them an encouraging card just because! There's apps for this!
I hope whatever stage you are at you can practice some friendtentionality!
Prayer: Jesus I pray you pour out your wisdom on those wanting to grow in this area. I pray you would teach them how to be a better friend. Show them how to be intentional in new and creative ways. Jesus thank you for loving us well first that we can go out and love others like you have first loved us.
Response: If you have any other ideas on being intentional with friends then please comment on my most recent post with them!